What ever happened to consequences?
Newton stated that for every action there is an equal reaction. But not anymore, not in the United States of America.
What happens when a young woman engages in sexual activity without benifit of marriage? She might get pregnant! Is that a problem? We seem to embrace the unwed mother, cater to her, give her free medical care, tutor her at home if she decides to leave school, we give her WIC, food to ensure a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. If she has no support from the baby's father the state will provide money each month to support her and her child.
What we don't do is tell them the truth. That if they have a baby while single and uneducated, they almost certainly doom themselves and their child to a life of poverty. We don't tell them that it is lonely and exausting to care for and raise a child alone. We don't tell them that finishing school and finding, securing and keeping a job is difficult for a single mother.
We don't tell them that when they have to be hospitalised for severe post-partum depression, there is no one to care for their baby.
We don't tell them that when their baby has an infection and is hospitalised at 2 weeks, they have to drive themselves to the hospital and worry alone. We don't tell them that sexual activity may lead to STDs that may cause cervical cancer at 20 years old. We don't tell them that they will have no loving husband to care for their baby and support her when she has surgery to remove pre-cancerous cells.
We don't tell her that her emergency contact will be a case worker because she simply has no one else. (true examples just from the last 2 months)
We don't tell them what they need to hear...Do Not Have Sex...unless you are married and ready to have a family. Having sex means having babies. It is not like the movies. You will not have money, you will not have time, you will not have fun. You will raise your baby in poverty. You will learn to expect checks from the government. You will begin to feel entitled. You will ask for help with food and utilities. You will expect free medical care. You will expect the rest of the world to take care of you.
I know this, I see it every day. Women with 3,4,5 children, with 2,3 different last names, and no husband, no father commited to help raising their family. They come, for food, clothing, housing, money for heat, electricity. They have no job, they have no intention of working. Why should they work at a low paying job? They get benifits, enough to get by. There are social service agencies to pick up the slack. There are Thanksgiving baskets to get, toy programs at Christmas to sign up for. They learn which agency gives out what and when. They know if they get food here today, they can get food there tomorrow. If they would put as much thought and energy into working as they put into getting handouts, they would all be succesful.
Not all single mothers are like this. Some realize that having a baby early and alone is not the way it should happen and focus on setting a path toward success. They finish high school, some even go on to college. They have goals and dreams for themselves and their children.
But too many live day to day, making choices, often bad choices based on the moment, the now.
They either are unable or unwilling to predict the consequences to their actions.
Let's start telling them what they need to hear.
Stop having sex with men who don't care.
Start thinking about your future.
Everthing you do, every choice you make has a consequence.
Think before you act.
Stop believing we owe you.
Stop believing we should pay your way.
Become personally responsible.
Become a good parent by teaching your children to be responsible.
Teach them to make good decisions.
Be a good role model.
Don't pass on to your children that idea of entitlement.
Go to school,
Get a job,
Get married,
then have your babies.
There is nothing more beautiful and sacred than a child.
But not much as sad as a child born into poverty who grows into an adult who brings another child into poverty, who grow into an adult...and so on and so on and so on.
